Showing myself has always been difficult. Putting myself out there on social media and sharing photos of myself is a real challenge... whereas it seems very easy for some.
My relationship with the mirror has always been complicated... It and I ignored each other for a very long time. And we were both fine with that. After my cancer and the scars that remained, the gaze became even more complicated... For years, I couldn't bring myself to go shirtless. A chest without nipples is noticeable... The creation of 3D tattoos was a true liberation... I started to dare.
I have never loved myself. This led to a real disconnection with my body. A rejection that gave all the power to my mind. Being small, not very muscular, feeling uncomfortable in my body... I developed something else: listening, humor, self-deprecating wit. Reclaiming the reflection in the mirror has been, and still is today, a daily work.
According to the people I support, I am a good therapist, a good coach. I passionately love what I do, and seeing those who trust me improve and thrive is the best reward for me. I have confidence in my abilities to read and sense people, and to know where to go and what to say to help them free themselves. But as they say, the shoemaker's children often go barefoot (if a therapist tells you otherwise, don't believe them!) As I often say, "I am on the same path as you, just a little further along..."
Of all the training I have done, one has taught me the most... experience. The experience of my personal work, which continues to this day, and the experience I have built with you, you whom I have been able to help and who have helped me just as much in return. Life is clever... it reflects mirrors back to us through others, showing us what we don't want to see in ourselves because it's too painful. Helping others has been helping myself...
Today, I feel that another stage has arrived... It is time for me to open up to you, whether you are familiar or unknown. I have decided to show myself, in my victories and my challenges, to exist in your eyes... and in my own. For years, I have been writing a journal of my pains and difficulties. I sometimes share it when my words can help certain people overcome their troubles.
Today, while reading the words of someone I greatly esteem, something clicked. Sharing my own experiences during my coaching sessions resonates with others. Why not do the same here? After all, that's also what I strive for in my podcasts.
So here it is, I am challenging myself to share with you, every day for at least 30 days, a slice of life, a part of my introspection, my experiences, my ups and downs. It will be 30 days of accessing what my modesty has always held me back from doing, which is talking about myself. And with all humility, I hope that, as the words of this person said in their post, talking about myself will be a bit like talking about you...
Lucas
