Do you know it too, that feeling of not being enough? It's a difficult subject for me because it was/is deeply ingrained. No matter how much I accomplish, no matter the positive feedback I receive... this impression that I have to prove that I'm a good person, that I deserve to be loved, rarely leaves me. And it has played tricks on me... especially in my relationships. We don't assert ourselves in our power, in our full potential, or only rarely. We expect the other person to tell us that we're good, that we're special, or to show it to us. It distorts the dynamics and creates a biased dynamic where we expect too much from the other person...
We compare ourselves to others, we constantly judge ourselves (and let's be honest, sometimes we judge others too), and we end up convincing ourselves even more that we're not up to par. And that inner voice is always whispering to us that we're not good enough or worthy. We wonder if we're intelligent enough, beautiful enough, or talented enough. We look around, and there's always someone who seems to have it all figured out. Social media is a particularly fertile ground for this feeling... Everyone seems to have a wonderful life... everyone (except me) seems to be beautiful and happy. We desperately try to fill a void, to be better, to be perfect. But deep down, we know that this quest for perfection is exhausting and never-ending... because no matter what we do, it never stops. The truth is, I am already enough... and so are you. We are unique and precious, with our strengths and weaknesses. There is no one else exactly like us. And it's precisely this authenticity that gives us value. Realizing this is the first step... and then we have to repeat it to ourselves over and over again... until our brain finally internalizes it. To free ourselves from this suffocating feeling, it's essential to change our perspective. Start by recognizing and celebrating our successes, big and small. Don't minimize them, because each one is important and deserves to be acknowledged.
It's also important to learn to speak to ourselves (to ourselves) with compassion and kindness. Replace those negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Establish a routine (as I discuss in my podcast on this subject). Like me, repeat to yourself that you are enough as you are, that you deserve love and respect...
Experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them... oh, it's so difficult for me! Oh, not the learning part, I do that systematically now, I draw lessons from them. But the idea of not doing well, of failing, of disappointing... the belief that if I don't meet expectations, I'll be abandoned, I won't be loved... And you know what's fascinating about beliefs? It's that the mind attracts and/or produces situations that confirm them. I believe that if I'm not as expected, I'll be rejected? Bingo, that's often what happens! Yet it's the challenges, the failures (or rather, the experiences) that make us grow the most and where we discover ourselves.
Today, more than ever, I want to surround myself with people who accept me and support me unconditionally. People who love me for who I am, not for how they would like me to be. People who love me when I'm doing well, but also when I'm not... You too, sort out those around you and keep only the people who see you as a gift in their lives. Those people deserve to be in yours.
Leave toxic relationships behind and prioritize those that remind you of your worth, those that uplift you. Those that cherish your qualities and what you have to offer. Together, we can support each other on our journey towards self-love and acceptance. Don't forget that you are more than enough. You are unique, powerful, and precious. You deserve to be loved, to fully realize yourself, and to live a fulfilling life.
